A Lesson on Validation, Trust, and Inner Knowing
A Permission to be Powerful Premium Post
Dear Permission to be Powerful Reader,
A client of mine — someone I’ve been working with for a while now — asked to share something with me at the very end of our session.
She wanted to tell me about something she had said to her son.
Something she was proud of.
Something she wanted me to validate.
And I… refused. 😱
But not from a place of coldness or dismissal.
From love.
😎 Here’s What I Said to Her:
“I think what you’re really asking for here isn’t my opinion on what you said. I think you already know it was good. You’re asking me to validate you. And I get that. But I want to offer you something stronger than my opinion:
your own trust in yourself.”
Because the truth is…
This client has grown. A lot.
She’s learned to regulate her emotions, communicate clearly, and parent from a place of awareness and love.
She didn’t need my stamp of approval.
She needed a mirror to reflect what she already knew.
So I told her:
“What you said to your son — I trust it. I trust you. I’ve seen you step into your wisdom more and more each session. And I know you know, deep down, that what you did was kind, loving, and right. You already know that. And you don’t need me to tell you who you are.”
She smiled.
She nodded.
And we ended the session there — both of us feeling lighter.
🤔 Here’s the Real Question:
When was the last time you already knew something was right… but still asked someone to validate it for you?
A boundary you set
A message you wrote
A decision you made
A truth you finally said out loud
We all do it sometimes.
It’s human.
But part of the healing journey — the growing up that happens inside — is learning to recognize when you’re seeking external permission for an internal truth.
And then choosing not to reach out for reassurance… but to turn inward and listen to your own voice.
That’s real power.
🌱 Try This Practice:
Next time you feel that tug — that itch to ask someone, “Do you think I handled that okay?” — pause and ask yourself:
❓ “If I weren’t afraid of being wrong or judged… what would I already know about this?”
❓ “What part of me is asking for validation — the adult or the child?”
❓ “Can I offer myself the validation I’m seeking right now?”
If you can do that, even once this week…
You’ve taken a massive step toward becoming your own source of safety and truth.
💬 Journal Prompt:
What’s something you asked others to validate recently… that you already knew, deep down, was good or right?
How did it feel before asking?
And how would it feel to validate yourself instead next time?
🔒 Want to Go Deeper?
If you’re working on this stuff — becoming the adult you always needed, building trust in your voice, and learning how to regulate and reparent — I’ve created a private VIP space just for this kind of work.
Inside Permission to Be Powerful: VIP, you’ll get tools, practices, and reflections that meet you exactly where you are:
🧘♂️ The Daily Practice – Gentle, grounding tools to steady yourself on hard days.
🧬 The Trigger Method Workbook – My full workbook to rewire your reactions and heal your relationship with your Inner Child.
🔥 HELL & PARADISE (Advanced Copy) – Anton’s raw, poetic memoir about finding power in the dark.
🛠 The ADHD X Factor – Understand your unique wiring and stop making yourself wrong for it.
🎯 The AI Prompt Bible – 70+ prompts to run your business, brand, and mindset with clarity and alignment.
👑 And more — including deep-dive reports on relationships, power, purpose, and what it means to lead yourself first.
This isn’t just more content.
It’s the operating system behind lasting transformation.
👉 Join VIP here – 30-day free trial
No pressure. No expectation. Just the tools that help you come home to yourself.
You already know more than you think.
You already are more than you give yourself credit for.
The work is remembering that.
—Zalman, LCSW
Test-ride Your Permission to be Powerful VIP Membership FREE for 30 Days.
 | A guest post by
|