This is brutal, beautiful, and so goddamn necessary.
I understand, brother. I've felt the same suffering. That maddening erosion of self, dressed up as partnership. The way your world gets smaller, until it’s just you, apologizing for wanting sunlight.
Your words don’t read bitter. They read honest. Like someone who made it out and refuses to pretend it didn’t cost him something.
And yes, to hell with permission. We don’t need clearance to reclaim what was always ours. Strength. Movement. Voice.
This was painful to read. I physically felt your emotional pain. But...kudos to you, friend, for finding your soul again and having the courage to leave that abusive relationship. And it was emotionally abusive. If you just swapped out the pronouns, not a single person would deny it was classic domestic abuse. Too often men are overlooked in this drama, told to tough it out, or what are you complaining for? But if it were happening to a woman, people would have been all the person to leave that jackass before the emotional abuse turns physical. Good on you - you got out, and not only are you surviving, you're rising to new heights every day.
This was brutal and brilliant. When love turns into a slow disappearance, getting out feels like breaking a spell. Glad you made it out. A lot of us are still finding our way back.
What a powerful piece. I can relate to all of it. I just got divorced this past November from a very similar relationship.
I can hear strains of codependency in here, of trauma bonding, of controller/subordinate patterns. The works. Been there done that. Finally got myself out after decades of toxicity (on BOTH our sides, I am no victim!). A lot of it is in my book Wounded Angels, which I would highly recommend to you as a relatable piece of literature. The links are in all my articles and you can read a couple of chapters for free. If they resonate, grab your copy and I think you'll find it very helpful. Meanwhile, I'm off to read YOUR free chapter and I'll bet it's a compelling read!
Thank you so much Anton. Really glad you reached back out and alerted us that this piece missed the algorithms the first time around!
Anton, I felt every word. Perhaps later i will tell you a story of a man at his 45 leaving his house (that's what he was talking), just with a suitcase and some clothes after 13 years of marriage. Leaving behind a restaurant, a patisserie, a newly renovated house, his car and the most valuable of all a boy at his 16 that he find it at 3 and raised it with all the love as his own child... Because the lady wanted to "live her life"... Broken just with a ticket and a couple of hundred of euros in his pocket he started a new life from zero. Anyway... this is nicely written though painful for some of us..
Anton...
This is brutal, beautiful, and so goddamn necessary.
I understand, brother. I've felt the same suffering. That maddening erosion of self, dressed up as partnership. The way your world gets smaller, until it’s just you, apologizing for wanting sunlight.
Your words don’t read bitter. They read honest. Like someone who made it out and refuses to pretend it didn’t cost him something.
And yes, to hell with permission. We don’t need clearance to reclaim what was always ours. Strength. Movement. Voice.
Grateful you wrote this. Keep going.
Siggy xx
Thank you. 🙏
This was painful to read. I physically felt your emotional pain. But...kudos to you, friend, for finding your soul again and having the courage to leave that abusive relationship. And it was emotionally abusive. If you just swapped out the pronouns, not a single person would deny it was classic domestic abuse. Too often men are overlooked in this drama, told to tough it out, or what are you complaining for? But if it were happening to a woman, people would have been all the person to leave that jackass before the emotional abuse turns physical. Good on you - you got out, and not only are you surviving, you're rising to new heights every day.
Thanks 🙏 Stephanie for holding space for me. Apparently this is the hardest thing I’ve ever written
This was brutal and brilliant. When love turns into a slow disappearance, getting out feels like breaking a spell. Glad you made it out. A lot of us are still finding our way back.
in quiet strength and sound
Afterforever ✨🎵
"People hide their craziness."
Indeed we do!
What a powerful piece. I can relate to all of it. I just got divorced this past November from a very similar relationship.
I can hear strains of codependency in here, of trauma bonding, of controller/subordinate patterns. The works. Been there done that. Finally got myself out after decades of toxicity (on BOTH our sides, I am no victim!). A lot of it is in my book Wounded Angels, which I would highly recommend to you as a relatable piece of literature. The links are in all my articles and you can read a couple of chapters for free. If they resonate, grab your copy and I think you'll find it very helpful. Meanwhile, I'm off to read YOUR free chapter and I'll bet it's a compelling read!
Thank you so much Anton. Really glad you reached back out and alerted us that this piece missed the algorithms the first time around!
Anton, I felt every word. Perhaps later i will tell you a story of a man at his 45 leaving his house (that's what he was talking), just with a suitcase and some clothes after 13 years of marriage. Leaving behind a restaurant, a patisserie, a newly renovated house, his car and the most valuable of all a boy at his 16 that he find it at 3 and raised it with all the love as his own child... Because the lady wanted to "live her life"... Broken just with a ticket and a couple of hundred of euros in his pocket he started a new life from zero. Anyway... this is nicely written though painful for some of us..
Yes - this post definitely makes the reader uncomfortable