Dating in my 20s vs. my 30s

Dating on My Terms -- How I Learned to Walk Away From Bad Relationships

There is an enormous difference between how I date in my 30s vs my 20s. I think the key distinguisher is I was a pure “chauffeur” back then, and now, I navigate the dating world through Mike Tyson’s eyes. I talk about being the chauffeur in many places so I won’t go into detail here. Just to say that being the chauffeur was my trauma response to growing up in a toxic environment. I believed that I was inferior to my partners. Respect was something I wanted but didn’t necessarily believe I deserved. I was exceptionally easily manipulated. I had terrible boundaries. To give you a quick summary.

Mike Tyson Represents the Opposite

Assertive, confident, direct, strong.

For starters… I was WAY less selective. If she was halfway cute, that was enough. I chased and chased and chased. I got invested in people way too quickly. I idealized them. I was more interested in getting their approval than protecting myself. Over time, most of my partners learned that I didn’t believe I deserved respect, …