Dear Permission to be Powerful reader,
Sometimes, being an immigrant SUCKS.
Picture this:
I came to the USA five years ago.
I’m all alone.
Not even a reliable emergency contact.
I keep to myself.
And I work.
My nose is always on the grindstone.
I used to party up to seven nights per week.
Now, I’m too tired to be out on a Saturday night.
Because I have two jobs.
One as a trainee at a Zen Center…
I’m an unpaid intern.
I’m going on staff next week, but guess what?
The pay’s $300 per month.
My other job is building my list.
These jobs are 80 hours per week of work.
I’ve been running like this for more than a year.
And let’s not get started with immigration.
Just last week, I got a letter from the government.
Telling me that my permanent residence application had been denied.
I saw my life flash before my eyes.
But I didn’t start throwing up…
Because I knew that my citizenship application was almost done.
I’m just two steps away from being a US citizen.
I know I’m not crazy…
This had to be some kind of error.
I was right.
But the letter still had me shook.
Just another reminder that my whole life could change in a moment.
I’ve been building Permission to be Powerful under hostile conditions.
That’s why I moved into a Zen Center.
I needed a place of refuge.
Where I could focus on my work.
Without having to worry about paying bills.
Even under these conditions, I built an email list of 130,000 people.
Now I have an audience big enough to build a living around.
I’m still figuring out how to make it pay.
But for once, I’m building something I own.
Nobody can fire me from that.
It’s all taking shape.
I did something remarkable, and I’m proud.
But I can’t tell how much longer the list is going to need to pull me out of poverty.
That’s right.
My ass is POOR.
Because I spent two years building a giant list while living on savings.
I used to make my living with words.
These days, I’m scrubbing toilets…
Washing dishes…
And cutting grass…
While I build a way back to earning with my voice.
I’ve had to become an expert at saving money.
Yet, I also took big risks.
Sometimes the risky bet is the only option for moving forward.
Tony Robbins fired me…
And it hurt so bad…
I rethought my whole life.
I have a much different outlook on personal finance.
I don’t recommend my lifestyle.
But when you’re determined to take control of your destiny…
You’ll take big risks to get where you’re trying to go.
I locked myself in a room for a year or two…
And came out the other side with 130,000 people on my list.
I went to hell and back.
I bet the whole farm.
I didn’t have much to start with.
But I knew that it was time to become a publisher.
Not merely a ghostwriter.
A thought leader…
Not just a taker of orders…
I had all the skills I needed…
And I figured the rest out along the way.
Every night, the question haunted me.
How am I going to grow my list?
If I don’t figure it out…
I’m going down with this ship…
So I MUST figure it out.
I had a mantra I kept telling myself:
“The internet is bigger than you think…”
There are more places to look…
Someone has figured out how to do it.
I must figure it out.
I used a few simple principles to navigate.
I said no to expensive marketing software just because everyone else was using it.
No to paid traffic like Adwords and Facebook Ads... because fuck paid traffic.
I also said no to all gatekeepers, no matter how far out of my way I had to go.
I spared no expense on the vital aspects of my business.
I kept doing the math.
If I build a giant list…
I can reach tens of thousands of people…
And if I can do that…
I’ll never have to beg clients for work again…
I’ll build something that can keep earning from work I’ve already done.
This is what I’ve done…
On a shoestring budget…
Through trial and error…
Constant setbacks…
Poverty…
And an immigration emergency.
Getting deported would have meant losing the life I was trying to build here.
I was afraid I’d spend the rest of my life wondering what I could have done.
With my whole life at stake…
With the risk of losing my home here…
I built this motherfucking list.
And it’s coming along nicely.
But I could really use some support.
Help me turn this audience into a living.
The best way to help is by becoming a paid member of Permission to be Powerful.
It’s $1 a month.
You’ll get every new essay and the complete archive.
And you’ll help me keep doing the work that brought you here.
This journey has been brutal.
I’m winning the war.
But I’m still fighting it…
And I’m exhausted.
Five years after coming to the US…
I’ve built an audience of 130,000 people.
I’m proud of that.
But all of this has come at a price.
My savings…
My self-esteem...
And my mental health…
So, if my words have meant something to you…
And you want to help me keep publishing them…
Become a paid member for $1 a month.
I built the audience.
Now I’m working to make it support me.
Thank you.
Tony V.
Editor-in-Chief
Permission to be Powerful
