How to "Switch Off" Self-Defeating Thoughts
A Permission to be Powerful Premium Post
✍️ Editor’s Note:
Zalman is my therapist—and my secret weapon.
When I was unraveling, he didn’t just offer support. He helped me see the patterns running my life and gave me language sharp enough to cut through them.
His insights show up everywhere in Permission to Be Powerful—because they changed me. Now I want them to reach you.
This is your introduction to Zalman, LCSW. You’ll be hearing more from him.
—Anton
Dear Permission to be Powerful Reader,
Let’s talk about the war inside your mind.
Because the truth is, most people lose the battle before the day even starts—all because of one thing:
A single thought.
One inner whisper.
A negative, self-defeating, old belief you’ve thought so many times it feels like truth.
Something like:
“They don’t really like me.”
“I always mess things up.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“I’ll never get this right.”
“It’s probably my fault.”
Sound familiar?
Here’s the thing: that thought is not you.
It’s a leftover belief.
A script you inherited, not one you authored.
You Are Not Your Thoughts
This is the first truth to anchor:
You can think any thought you want.
You can literally choose your next thought—right now.
Try it.
Say to yourself: “I’m open to a new way of seeing this.”
Or: “I don’t have to believe that anymore.”
Or even: “I am learning to be on my side.”
Now notice: a shift.
That’s your Adult Self taking the wheel back from your Pattern.
You are not the scared kid who had to believe those thoughts to stay safe, small, or invisible.
You’re not stuck with the default setting.
You can override it.
And here’s how.
The 4-Question Filter: Slay the Thought, Save the Self
Whenever a thought comes up—especially one that makes you feel small, ashamed, or hopeless—run it through this four-part check.
Ask:
Is it true?
Not “does it feel true,” but is it objectively true? Can you prove it?
Is it even possible to know if it’s true?
So often, we believe stories we literally can’t verify. (“They think I’m annoying.” “I blew the whole meeting.”) But how could you even know that?
How do I feel when I think this thought?
Does it tighten your chest? Weigh you down? Send you back into old patterns?
How would I feel if I didn’t think this thought?
If you dropped it? Rejected it? Let it pass like a cloud? Would you feel lighter, more open, less stuck?
That’s your answer.
That’s your compass.
If a thought makes you feel like garbage and it’s not verifiably true…
Why keep it?
You wouldn’t eat food you knew was poisoned.
Why keep chewing on toxic thoughts?
Pattern vs. Adult Self
Here’s what’s really happening:
That negative thought?
It’s a Pattern speaking.
A survival belief that once kept your Inner Child emotionally afloat.
But now?
It’s just noise.
And you are allowed to reject it.
This is the shift.
From being at the mercy of your mind…
To becoming the author of it.
Want to Go Deeper?
If this resonated—if you felt something soften, or crack open—then you’re ready for what’s waiting inside the VIP tier of Permission to Be Powerful.
This is where we go beyond awareness and into real transformation.
Inside VIP, you’ll find:
💥 The Trigger Workbook – A complete emotional self-repair system to rewire old beliefs and build real emotional safety
🧠 The Life Pattern Decoder – Understand your specific core pattern and how it hijacks your thinking, behavior, and relationships
🛠️ Daily Mindset Tools – Journal prompts, voice scripts, and thought-swapping exercises to rewire your mental default
💡 The Adult Self Blueprint – A roadmap for becoming your own inner guide instead of your inner critic
You’ll also get access to:
The ADHD X-Factor
The Monster Method
The AI Prompt Bible
and private tools I don’t share anywhere else
Best of all? You can try it free for 30 days.
No risk. No pressure.
Just support. Structure. And a map that works.
👉 [Join VIP now – Free for 30 Days]
Because you don’t need to fix yourself.
You just need to stand with yourself—especially when that old voice starts whispering lies.
And I’ll be here to help you do it.
With you,
Zalman, LCSW
Test-ride Your Permission to be Powerful VIP Membership FREE for 30 Days.
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