The Feelings Are Not the Problem — They’re the Invitation
So many of us get triggered and think,
“Ugh, here we go again. What’s wrong with me?”
But let me offer a reframe:
It’s great that you’re triggered.
Because what’s happening isn’t random. It’s precise. Personal. Sacred.
That person, situation, or conversation?
It didn’t just “happen.”
It was sent.
Attracted into your life by you — and more specifically, by your Inner Child.
🧲 The Gift Inside the Trigger
When you’re triggered, you’re not broken.
You’re being given a moment of contact.
Contact with old emotions
Contact with past experiences
Contact with unmet needs still echoing inside you
The trigger arouses something — sadness, fear, anger, panic, insecurity — and if you’re paying attention, you’ll realize…
You’ve felt this exact cocktail of emotions before.
It’s familiar.
It goes back.
Way back.
💬 Why This Is the Whole Point
The point isn’t to avoid being triggered.
The point is to notice what it brings up — and use that moment to make contact with your Inner Child.
Because that triggered emotion?
It’s her.
Trying to talk to you.
Your job isn’t to fix her or silence her.
It’s to listen.
👂 How to Actually Listen
You listen by naming the feelings.
That’s it.
Not analyzing. Not judging. Not intellectualizing.
Just pausing and asking:
“What am I feeling right now?”
“Where do I feel this in my body?”
“When was the first time I felt something like this?”
You can use a feelings chart if you’re not sure. Most adults have underdeveloped emotional vocabularies. That’s not a flaw — it’s just unpracticed.
But naming feelings is medicine.
Because when you take 10 seconds to pause, notice, and name your feelings, you’re doing something profound:
You’re telling your Inner Child:
“You matter. You’re worth my time. I hear you.”
That’s the opposite of what she grew up believing.
🛠 Why This Heals
The world taught you, directly or indirectly:
You don’t count
You’re not important
You’re only lovable if you please others
But every time you face your emotions instead of avoiding them, you undo a little of that damage.
You build self-worth by showing up for yourself.
Not perfectly. Not dramatically. Just consistently.
Because your Inner Child speaks one language: feeling.
And when you’re triggered, those are the very feelings she’s speaking through you.
🧍♂️ You Are Two
You’re not just a child anymore.
You’re an Adult too. And that matters.
When you were little, you were your Inner Child.
You didn’t have an adult part to comfort or explain.
But now?
Now you have a massive advantage.
Now you can do something different.
Now you can:
Hear
Witness
Name
Validate
Offer care
You are two.
And that means you can heal.
👧 Visualize This:
Picture your Inner Child — 7 years old — by your side, 24/7.
She’s scared sometimes.
She’s joyful sometimes.
She wants to be heard.
She wants to feel safe.
Talk to her.
Sit next to her.
Build a relationship.
Let her feel what she never got:
To be heard. To be accepted. To be loved without needing to earn it.
✍️ Reflection Prompt:
Think back to your last trigger. What did you feel in your body? What emotions came up? Where have you felt those before? What might your Inner Child be trying to tell you through those feelings?
Write it down. No judgment. Just listen.
🔒 Want to Go Deeper?
If this resonated, I created a space specifically for this kind of work — where emotional healing meets self-leadership, and Inner Child work is not a buzzword but a daily practice.
Inside the VIP section of Permission to Be Powerful, you’ll find:
🧬 The Trigger Method Workbook – My complete, step-by-step process to work with emotional triggers and build a relationship with your Inner Child.
🧘 The Daily Practice – A grounding ritual that helps you tune in and show up for yourself — even when you feel overwhelmed.
🔥 HELL & PARADISE (Advanced Copy) – Anton’s raw memoir about finding strength through heartbreak and exile — it’ll help you feel seen.
🧠 The ADHD X Factor – Discover the hidden strengths and misunderstood patterns behind your wiring — and learn how to stop pathologizing your sensitivity.
🛠️ The AI Prompt Bible + Monster Method – Tools to rewire your mind, your work, and your patterns — with structure and soul.
👥 Plus community insights, emotional scripts, and grounded strategies for healing attachment, self-trust, and self-worth.
👉 Join VIP here – 30-day free trial
No commitment. Just the tools to support the work you’re already doing — and a reminder that you never have to do it alone.
The next time you feel triggered…
Don’t rush to “calm down.”
Don’t rush to fix.
Just stop.
Name.
Listen.
That’s how your healing begins.
—Zalman, LCSW
Test-ride Your Permission to be Powerful VIP Membership FREE for 30 Days.
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