Inner Child Healing: How to Heal Your Inner Child — And Become a Better Parent in the Process
A Permission to be Powerful Premium Post
Dear Permission to be Powerful Reader,
What if the key to becoming the parent you wish you had…
Was learning how to parent yourself first?
👶 You Are Two: Adult + Inner Child
By the time you’re around 12 years old, something shifts.
An Adult Self comes online. But the Inner Child — the part of you shaped in the early years — doesn’t disappear. It stays with you.
And unless you’ve done the work to build a relationship with that younger part of yourself, it’s still running the show in more ways than you realize.
Most of us walk through the world as two people:
An adult on the surface, and a child beneath — still waiting for the love, validation, and security we never got.
💔 Inner Child Healing = Meeting Unmet Needs
The pain you carry today?
That overreaction? That sudden anxiety? That deep fear of abandonment?
It’s not random.
It’s the voice of a younger you — the 7-year-old still living inside.
He or she absorbed messages like:
“You’re only good when you behave.”
“You don’t matter.”
“Your feelings are too much.”
“You’re not safe.”
And when those needs went unmet — love, safety, validation — you adapted. You survived. But the wounds remained.
Today, they show up as:
People-pleasing
Self-doubt
Overreacting to small things
Being triggered by your own kids
Inner Child healing is the work of listening to those emotions, naming them, validating them — and becoming the safe parent you always needed.
🧠 It’s Not Your Fault — But It
Is
Your Responsibility
You didn’t choose your childhood.
You didn’t cause the neglect, the chaos, or the emotional absence.
But you can choose what happens next.
This isn’t about blame.
It’s about ownership.
When you start seeing your own reactions as echoes of the past — not flaws in the present — everything begins to shift.
You stop asking “What’s wrong with me?”
And start asking: “What does my Inner Child need right now?”
💡 Emotional Triggers Are Clues
Every time you overreact in the present…
Every time your partner, child, or coworker “sets you off”…
It’s a doorway.
A portal to something unfinished. Something unheard.
That’s not your adult reacting — it’s the Inner Child asking for help.
She doesn’t want you to numb out or fight back. She wants to be heard.
Use a feelings chart.
Sit with the discomfort.
Ask: “When else have I felt this?”
That’s how you locate the root.
🧒 Parenting Starts With How You Parent Yourself
This isn’t just about you.
How you treat your Inner Child becomes how you treat your actual children.
That’s why so many people say,
“I’ll never treat my kids the way I was treated”…
…only to find themselves doing exactly that.
Because until we do the inner work, the wounded child runs the show — even when we’re trying to show up as adults.
But when you begin to build that relationship — when you start validating your own Inner Child — something magical happens.
You become the parent you always needed.
And you naturally become the parent your children need.
🧘 Learn from Children
Need a practical way to connect with your Inner Child?
Spend time with actual children.
Watch how you speak to them. How gently you offer support. How you explain things with patience and presence.
Then do that for yourself.
Speak to your own Inner Child with the same warmth and understanding.
Can’t visualize it?
Put a picture of yourself at age 7 on your fridge or phone.
Talk to that child next time you feel triggered.
🤝 Unconditional Acceptance = Healing
Here’s the ultimate gift we can give both our Inner Child and our real children:
Unconditional acceptance.
Not: “You’re lovable when you behave.”
But: “You’re lovable because you are.”
That doesn’t mean tolerating bad behavior. It means separating the person from the action.
“I love you. I don’t love that behavior.”
“You’re good. That decision wasn’t.”
When we do that for our children — and for ourselves — we create emotional safety. And safety is what heals.
🔒 Want to Go Deeper?
Inside Permission to Be Powerful: VIP, we go step-by-step into how to heal these wounds and shift your relationships — from the inside out.
Here’s what you’ll unlock:
🧬 The Trigger Method Workbook – Learn how to turn emotional triggers into a roadmap for healing
🧘 The Daily Practice – Grounding exercises to connect with your Inner Child every day
🧠 The ADHD X Factor – Understand how neurodivergence impacts emotions, self-worth, and parenting
🔥 HELL & PARADISE (Advanced Copy) – A raw memoir about healing childhood wounds and reclaiming your power
💬 Real Scripts + Tools – Know what to say when you’re triggered, overwhelmed, or slipping into old patterns
👉 Try VIP Free for 30 Days
This isn’t about fixing yourself.
It’s about meeting yourself — with love, clarity, and consistency.
And from that place, everything changes.
Talk soon,
—Zalman, LCSW
Test-ride Your Permission to be Powerful VIP Membership FREE for 30 Days.
 | A guest post by
|