Stop Teaching People to Treat You Like Dirt

Why People Walk All Over You—And How to Make It Stop for Good

Dear Permission to be Powerful Reader,

Here are the rules of engagement.

Don’t be nice to people who devalue you.

You don’t have to be kind or polite.

Someone who is devaluing you doesn’t deserve kindness.

That generally sorts the world into two categories:

Safe and unsafe people.

People who devalue you are unsafe.

You get a completely different experience from me, depending on which category you wind up in.

I’m getting better at defining a safe versus unsafe person. I’m adding criteria to each list all the time.

One of my most recent additions has been I don’t fuck with people who try to make me feel invisible. It’s my new pet peeve. What do I mean? I discovered a pattern that I’d missed for my whole life.

Some people can empathize with you and validate you.

When you’re around them, you get more clarity. You feel more confident about yourself and your choices.

They help you grow. Then, some people undermine your judgment. When you’re around them, they make you feel confused.

They may eve…