EDITOR’S NOTE: Quick check-in on the No Fucks Given Challenge: still going strong. Today’s post is unrelated, but the spirit is alive
🔥 DAY 5: BE SEEN, FULLY
By now, you’ve felt rejection, embarrassment, judgment, and discomfort—and survived.
Today is about showing up as the rawest, realest version of yourself.
Your Challenge:
✔ Do one thing today that feels like "too much."
✔ Express a thought you’d normally keep to yourself.
✔ Own your presence, unapologetically.
You’re not here to blend in.
You’re not here to play small.
You’re here to be fucking seen.
Ok log your results here.
Or find the link pinned in the comments below if you’re listening to the podcast version.
Now, let’s get into it…
Dear Permission to be Powerful Reader,
Silence is a WEAPON.
It speaks louder than words.
In fact…
Silence can be deafening.
I went 5 years without speaking a word to anyone in my family (except my sister once a year.)
I wish I could tell you that permanently changed the dynamic between me and my family.
I thought it did at first.
Here’s what it really did.
👉 It made my vision clear.
👉 It made me strong.
👉 It made my values known.
But it didn’t change anyone else.
I thought it might have.
Enough time has passed to let me know I was wrong.
Nobody’s changed.
Except me.
And I’m okay with that.
I’m the difference that makes the difference.
My father has since been put back on ice for almost three years. Must be hard getting another prison sentence right after just getting free.
Indifference is a war strategy.
I make no exceptions for my boundaries.
👉 You want to fuck with me.
👉 You want to play nice, but every once in a while, forget who you’re messing with?
Don’t ever forget.
I don’t keep people around me who think they get to treat me well MOST of the time.
That’s not how that works.
I’ll do whatever I must to protect my peace of mind.
I used to allow people to make me miserable.
Nobody deserves that kind of power over you.
👉 So, if they want to be relentless…
👉 If they want to come and act they have the RIGHT to treat you like shit?
👉 Like I have to accept whatever shit treatment they’re dishing out?
Well…
See you in the next life.
(I hope I’m a lion and you’re a goat.)
At the heart of Violent Nonviolence is strength without lifting a finger.
Without throwing a single punch.
I don’t hit back — I make people regret ever throwing the first punch.
You don’t have to throw punches when your presence alone is a warning.
Some battles are won before they’re even fought—by making it clear you are NOT the one.
Nonviolence isn’t passivity—it’s choosing to engage on your terms, not theirs.
That was my first problem — when people used to bully me and take advantage of me endlessly.
I thought I was obligated to put up with their treatment.
Perhaps because we lived together, or were related.
Perhaps they were an authority figure.
I had this idea of respecting my elders drummed into my head growing up.
In practical terms, that often meant tolerating brazen disrespect simply because it came from someone old.
People make so many excuses for lousy treatment when it comes to from the elderly.
“They’re old…”
“They’ll never change.”
“Stuck in their ways.”
“Things were different back then.”
Well, they’d better start now.
Or else, I’ll teach them a lesson they never forget.
How can people make it to a ripe old age and not know how respect works?
That’s one of the reasons why I feel like The Punisher.
Someone, at some point before this person dies, must teach them the correct way.
It’s unjust for someone to live their whole lives and die without learning this lesson.
Without having someone stand up to them.
Mastering your emotions and controlling your energy make you untouchable.
🔥Setting Boundaries Like a Fortress → People learn quickly when there’s no way in.
🔥 Using Fear Without Using Force → Psychological dominance is the real game.
🔥 Revenge Without Retaliation → The best payback? Unapologetic victory.
My therapist is the one who coined this term — that’s how he described my attitude when I go into Apex Predator mode.
I have a profound hatred of violence.
Having been forced to participate in it so many times.
I understand how violent people think and operate.
I have contempt for them.
I disrespect them.
Violent people are among the most repugnant kinds of people.
They are arrogant and entitled.
They’re selfish.
They’re cold-hearted.
They are an abomination.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to be violent.
Try to picture my training ground:
I’m weak, vulnerable, and utterly dependent on a giant tyrant who rules the house with an iron fist.
Any wrong move and I’m going to get the shit kicked out of me.
I’ll need years of therapy for every assault.
How do you win?
The answer to that question expanded my very intellect.
I had to reach far and wide.
Deep into my soul to extract an answer.
How does David beat Goliath?
This was the earth from which Violent Nonviolence sprouted.
It took a very long time to figure all of this out.
Starting from a complete disadvantage.
How do I learn to protect myself and assert myself around a dictator with all the power?
Who is relentless?
Ergo, no matter what I do, he’ll never stop, change, or even care about the impact he’s having on me.
How?
With what?
The Zen Center taught me some profound lessons about power.
I learned that making peace can be an act of strength.
Counterintuitive.
It’s much more normal to think about war as an act of strength.
Aggression as an act of strength.
That’s completely backwards.
Which goes to show how much of your own power you’re leaving on the table.
If the very thing you think is power is weakness…
Then how lost are you?
Hopelessly.
I’ve had a strong impulse for finding harmony and peace in my home.
That led me to many great thinkers and ideas.
Nonviolent Communication was a game-changer.
This book will get its post in due time, but I’ll just say for now that this was perhaps the first explicit sign that I stood for nonviolence as a core value.
This book blew me away and changed me.
Yet, ironically, nobody wants to read it.
Something about the title turns people off.
But the skills inside of it are profound.
Weirdly enough…
I joined the Zen Center — and it’s the only place I’ve found avid fans of Nonviolent Communication.
They even teach Nonviolent Communication classes here.
Weird.
Listen — you might hear “Silence is a weapon,” and think use The Silent Treatment.
No.
The Silent Treatment is about being passive-aggressive.
It’s about punishing someone so you can get something from them. It’s an attempt to control the other person’s behavior.
Nonviolent Silence is about self-protection.
You’re not trying to hurt people. You’re doing the thing you have every right to do, especially when people are mistreating you.
You don’t have any expectation about how the other person will behave, or what they’ll do next.
You’re not trying to pull their strings. You’re cutting the cord completely.
Full detachment.
It’s about letting go of your attachment to any particular outcome.
Violent Nonviolence is absolute detachment.
That’s what makes it terrifying.
It’s indifference with teeth.
If this hit deep… the VIP archive goes even deeper.
I write raw, no-fluff essays like this every week—but most of them never go public.
VIPs get the realest, darkest, most empowering work I do.
Stories I can’t share freely. Tactics for emotional self-defense.
And frameworks for owning your power without apology.
If you’re ready for the next level—
Join the VIPs.
It’s not for everyone.
But if it is for you… you’ll know.
Until next time,
Anton
Dancer, Writer, Buddhist.
Creator of Permission to be Powerful.
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