Thanks for sharing your life journey, ups, downs, and insights. I recognized myself a few times in your story, and am pleased that I’ve made so much progress over the years. I’m still learning and growing, of course, but from a better foundation.
Well, many times wisdom comes with age, but unfortunately not always. That's why lifelong learning, reflection and nurturing healthy friendships are vital as we grow older.
Wow. I saw myself in every part of people pleasing you mentioned, with family, with partners, with "friends".
I know I need to set my boundaries, and I did it for the first time this week! It was as scary as you described. But I still do things automatically, and know it's gonna take a while until I'll rewire my brain. As long as I'm aware, I know I'm on the right path..
Sometimes I'm jealous of people who take care of themselves only. I wonder how it's like to be on the other side, to just not care and take advantage of other people's kindness.
I could never do that, but sometimes I wish I could.
"Sometimes I'm jealous of people who take care of themselves only. I wonder how it's like to be on the other side, to just not care and take advantage of other people's kindness."
I'm starting to have really great friends. Dependable, reliable, trustworthy. Given my starting point, it's a massive victory.
Good for you for setting boundaries! I think you should watch out for when your body is giving you mixed signals. Sometimes the right thing feels wrong. But you can use logic to override that instinct.
When I first set boundaries, my nervous system panicked. I felt so much anxiety and fear, but it's now been about a year since I chose to distance myself from everything that made me feel that way. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I never knew what it was like to experience true peace until recently. Its almost surreal.
Thanks Tannia, I left my country 3 years ago, and only then realised I don't even know myself because I was always there for other people, exactly as I was taught.
After leaving, I had no one else to please by myself, so I actually asked myself "what do you want?" And for the first time I had an answer.
I thought I grew since then, but last month, "a friend" stormed l in my life and controled me again.
I wasn't aware only until the last day we had together, then I set my boundaries, and felt a little bit better, and yet very scared I didn't notice it earlier.
Lol. It means I was an easy target for hucksters and conmen. Easy to manipulate. Naive about people and the ways of the world. My transformation really changed my perspective on people and human nature. Honestly, sometimes I still attract some of the sickest people you could imagine. It's really sad to see when I attract someone who is toxic. But thankfully, I'm healed enough to say no thank you early on.
Thanks for sharing your life journey, ups, downs, and insights. I recognized myself a few times in your story, and am pleased that I’ve made so much progress over the years. I’m still learning and growing, of course, but from a better foundation.
Growth is always good. With age comes wisdom.
Well, many times wisdom comes with age, but unfortunately not always. That's why lifelong learning, reflection and nurturing healthy friendships are vital as we grow older.
Wow. I saw myself in every part of people pleasing you mentioned, with family, with partners, with "friends".
I know I need to set my boundaries, and I did it for the first time this week! It was as scary as you described. But I still do things automatically, and know it's gonna take a while until I'll rewire my brain. As long as I'm aware, I know I'm on the right path..
Sometimes I'm jealous of people who take care of themselves only. I wonder how it's like to be on the other side, to just not care and take advantage of other people's kindness.
I could never do that, but sometimes I wish I could.
Girl - I can really relate to this:
"Sometimes I'm jealous of people who take care of themselves only. I wonder how it's like to be on the other side, to just not care and take advantage of other people's kindness."
I'm starting to have really great friends. Dependable, reliable, trustworthy. Given my starting point, it's a massive victory.
Good for you for setting boundaries! I think you should watch out for when your body is giving you mixed signals. Sometimes the right thing feels wrong. But you can use logic to override that instinct.
Keep at it. I'm proud of you.
When I first set boundaries, my nervous system panicked. I felt so much anxiety and fear, but it's now been about a year since I chose to distance myself from everything that made me feel that way. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I never knew what it was like to experience true peace until recently. Its almost surreal.
It's okay to take care of yourself first. ♥️
Amen! I can relate! Incredible how serene life becomes when you kick all the toxic people out. I'm so proud of you, Tannia.
Thanks Tannia, I left my country 3 years ago, and only then realised I don't even know myself because I was always there for other people, exactly as I was taught.
After leaving, I had no one else to please by myself, so I actually asked myself "what do you want?" And for the first time I had an answer.
I thought I grew since then, but last month, "a friend" stormed l in my life and controled me again.
I wasn't aware only until the last day we had together, then I set my boundaries, and felt a little bit better, and yet very scared I didn't notice it earlier.
Mostly scared it's gonna happen again 😔
Thanks for sharing this, Anton. I’m curious, when you say someone is ‘a mark’ what do you mean by that?
Lol. It means I was an easy target for hucksters and conmen. Easy to manipulate. Naive about people and the ways of the world. My transformation really changed my perspective on people and human nature. Honestly, sometimes I still attract some of the sickest people you could imagine. It's really sad to see when I attract someone who is toxic. But thankfully, I'm healed enough to say no thank you early on.
I was definitely a people pleaser and an over-giver. I recognize these patterns now and am working to overcome them.
Thanks for sharing, Carolyn. I hope you nail this one. Life gets better. People pleasing costs you a lot.
People pleasing definitely does cost you a lot.