Dear Permission to Be Powerful reader,

Raising your standards sucks.

It’s a bittersweet feeling.

Because I can see two futures depending on what I choose.

If I settle…

If I tolerate more than I should…

If I abandon myself…

If I let someone walk all over me and ignore my boundaries…

Then I suffer.

My mental health falls apart.

I hate myself.

I feel small.

I feel weak.

I feel disrespected.

I feel resentful.

I already know where that leads.

But when I maintain my standards…

When I hold my boundaries…

When I refuse to settle for less than what I know is right…

That also sucks.

Because now, I have to face reality.

Now I can look at you…

And you look amazing.

My body is screaming yes.

Please.

I want you.

Bad…

But my nervous system?

Fuck no.

Stay the fuck away from that girl.

She’s bad for you.

She will use you.

Every time you’re around her…

You feel small.

You feel weak.

You feel used.

You feel like an errand boy.

You feel disrespected.

There’s a power imbalance.

It’s one-sided.

She drains you.

And if you mess with her…

She’ll give you an amazing night.

And then she’ll ruin your life.

So now I have a choice.

Because I know what tolerating disrespect gets me.

I know what ignoring red flags gets me.

And once you see the pattern…

You can’t unsee it.

You don’t need 5,000 days to confirm what you saw on day one.

And it’s not just with women.

I told my cousin I was at my breaking point.

Not I was having a bad day…

My breaking point.

He responded with a sales pitch for his new AI software.

Some people can’t see you.

And if you don’t catch that early…

You’ll spend years trying to be understood by people who were never capable of understanding you.

I’ve been treated right.

I know what it’s like.

And once you’ve felt that…

Settling becomes unbearable.

So here I am.

Alone.

But honest.

Saying no to the bad…

So I can make room for the good.

Refusing to abandon myself under any circumstances.

Tony V
Editor-in-Chief
Permission to be Powerful

Permission to be Powerful

The Cost of Raising Your Standards