The Darkest Night of My Spiritual War: The Final Step to Freedom… or Annihilation.

It's The End of the Road. This is My Last Stand.

I usually go to the Zen Center on Sundays.

For someone who hated going to church with a passion, it’s a huge turnaround. I try to get home before midnight to get enough rest the next day.

I was out dancing the night before and didn’t get enough sleep…

So, this Sunday was a struggle not to fall asleep in the zendo.

I wish I could do justice to how epic it is to sit in a room with 50 people for 2 hours in pristine silence.

You leave the zendo feeling rejuvenated.

My mind is clear and empty.

Ergo, no problems and desires to make me unhappy.

But I was miserable after my sit yesterday.

We had a meeting after the sitting in the dining room.

I want to do justice to how strange and cool this religion is.

Strange: We eat on the floor from a table, which may be a foot off the ground.

It’s the traditional Japanese way.

I love it.

We’re eating, and we’re all still in our lotus positions.

And I dare not overlook how well-fed we are at the Zen Center.

We get a bagel breakfast every Sunday.

There’s lots of coffee an…