The Real Reason You Keep Getting Triggered
A Permission to be Powerful Premium Post
✍️ Editor’s Note:
Zalman is my therapist—and my secret weapon.
When I was unraveling, he didn’t just offer support. He helped me see the patterns running my life and gave me language sharp enough to cut through them.
His insights show up everywhere in Permission to Be Powerful—because they changed me. Now I want them to reach you.
This is your introduction to Zalman, LCSW. You’ll be hearing more from him.
—Anton
Dear Permission to be Powerful Reader,
Emotional triggers spark strong negative emotions.
The experience can be sudden, or it can seem to come from out of nowhere.
Emotional Triggers: Overreaction
A key point is that emotional triggers are typically part of an emotional reaction on the person's part which is more severe than what the trigger or situation would logically call for – i.e., overreaction.
We attract people into our lives who are messengers.
They emotionally trigger feelings in us in order for us to see it, identify it, and be able to work on it.
It's like they are mirrors on two feet. And as we do that work, their ability to emotionally push us around dwindles and fades to the point that we see their actions and words as indicative of their own issues, and nothing to do with us.
Situations That Often Trigger Emotions
Here are some common situations that can spark intense emotional reactions. What’s striking is that—if you pause and look deeper—each of these moments often echoes something from your past:
✅Disapproval
✅ Criticism
✅ Loss of control
✅ Unfair treatment
✅ Rejection
✅ Being excluded or ignored
✅ Betrayal
✅ Feeling unwanted, unloved, or unnecessary
✅ Being misunderstood
✅ Not being believed
✅ Feeling manipulated
✅ Feeling judged or shamed
✅ Not being prioritized
✅ Feeling powerless or voiceless
✅ Being micromanaged or overruled
✅ Fear of abandonment
✅ Fear of failure
✅ Feeling trapped or cornered
✅ Having your boundaries crossed
✅ Being compared to others
✅ Feeling invisible or unrecognized
These situations are not just “annoying.”
They can open old wounds—wounds we sometimes forgot were even there. That’s why your nervous system can react with a wave of emotion that seems out of proportion to the moment.
Because, in a way, it’s not just about the moment.
It’s about every moment that ever felt like it.
What Triggers Really Are
An emotional trigger is not a flaw in you.
It’s not a sign that you’re “too sensitive.”
It’s a message.
A trigger is an invitation to understand something deeper inside you.
It’s the nervous system’s way of saying:
“Hey, we’ve been here before. And it still hurts. Want to look at it now?”
When you accept the invitation—not with blame, not with shame, but with compassion—you begin to take your power back.
That’s when the magic starts to happen:
You start to see patterns where there used to be chaos.
You start to respond instead of react.
You start to hold onto yourself instead of losing yourself in someone else’s behavior.
And eventually… you start to feel free.
So What Do You Do With a Trigger?
You slow down.
You name the feeling.
You trace it back: “When have I felt this before?”
And you ask yourself:
“What does this part of me need that it never got?”
That’s the work.
That’s the healing.
That’s how triggers lose their power and become teachers.
Final Note
If something or someone has been triggering the hell out of you lately…
That doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It might just mean you’re finally ready to heal what they’re reflecting.
And if you’re ready to go deeper—
To stop being yanked around by emotional flashbacks and start stepping into real power…
Then keep reading Permission to Be Powerful.
Because this is the space where we turn emotional landmines into stepping stones.
You’re not alone.
You’re waking up.
And that’s exactly what this moment is for.
-Zalman, LCSW
