I love playing with you guys.
I LOVE having a place to express myself freely.
I think I have never been this aligned and transparent ever.
And the best part, y’all, is that I’m a master communicator.
My words are lethal weapons.
I know more about communication than most.
I have JFK’s charm, Morgan Freeman’s voice, and Mark Twain’s wit.
I aim to please the crowd.
You deserve it, and not everyone does.
But, first thing’s first—my therapist. His name is Zalman.
(Here’s his Substack, by the way.)
Yo… I owe this man everything.
If I had never met Zalman, in all likelihood, I would have never found the strength to get out of the toxic marriage I was in.
In other words, were it not for Zalman, I would have spent the rest of my life in an unhappy relationship.
And let me tell you something: Zalman is hands down the best therapist I’ve ever encountered.
I’ve seen at least ten different therapists. I know the difference.
Some therapists listen. Some therapists help you feel a little better.
And then there’s Zalman—who throws grenades at your life and forces you to rebuild stronger than before.
He doesn’t let you stay stuck. He gets results.
I’ve Had a Lot of Therapists—He’s Different
I’ve had therapists who were late, disorganized, and uninterested.
I’ve had a therapist lie to me.
I’ve had good ones, too. One helped me get through a brutal three-year depression. Another helped me untangle the mess of my divorce.
But Zalman? He rewired me.
He guided me through my transformation from The Chauffeur to Mike Tyson.
He’s on another level.
Some therapists will help with your depression, anxiety, etc.
Zalman? He goes straight for the root of your dysfunction.
He doesn’t just help you cope.
He makes you change.
Fair Warning: He Blows Up Your Life
Every time I call Zalman up, bombs start going off in my life.
I know that sounds bad…
But sometimes, bad things happen for the highest good.
That’s how I feel about Zalman and all the “trouble” he’s caused.
Because when I apply what he teaches me, I make waves.
I disrupt entire ecosystems.
I shake people like I’m a tsunami.
Zalman has this way of cutting through the noise and getting straight to the truth.
But truth is dangerous.
Most people have spent their entire lives running from it.
So when I show up—new and improved, with Zalman’s voice in my ear…
I make people freak the hell out.
Because I am confronting them with things they’ve been avoiding their whole life.
You mess with someone like that, and you learn profound lessons about humanity.
Because people get VERY irrational when you poke the bear.
Zalman’s #1 Trick: The Inner Child
One of the greatest things he ever taught me?
You have a secret alter ego you don’t even know about.
It’s your inner child.
That kid you used to be? He’s still alive.
And he has opinions about you.
He watches how you treat yourself.
And if you abandon him, neglect him, or side with the people who hurt him?
He never forgets.
That’s why so many people self-sabotage.
They don’t realize they’ve been betraying themselves since childhood.
When I finally understood this?
It changed everything.
I made a lifelong commitment to being on my own side.
To never abandoning myself again.
To fight for myself like I’d fight for a scared little kid.
Because that kid still exists. And he deserves someone in his corner.
That’s how I broke the cycle.
That’s how I stopped being The Chauffeur.
I Was Programmed to Be a Doormat
My whole life, I was loyal to disloyal people.
I spent time around people I didn’t even like—because I didn’t know I was allowed to leave.
I put everybody’s wants and needs over my own—to the point where my agenda always came dead last.
Living like that made me depressed.
And it attracted more toxic people like clockwork.
When I was married, we were taking care of my ex-wife’s 95-year-old grandfather.
An old man who was taking advantage of us—for no obvious benefit to ourselves.
We were exhausted and miserable.
I used to muddle around the house doing this or that for him… and think… only 5 more years of this MAX.
LOL.
With Zalman’s help?
I got that motherfucker out of the house within a few weeks.
That was the day I officially shifted from The Chauffeur to Mike Tyson.
It was nothing short of a miracle.
I remember Zalman celebrating with me.
“See?” he said. “You’re not the same person anymore.”
And he was right.
This whole mindset—being a people-pleasing doormat?
It was my survival strategy for growing up in a toxic and oppressive environment.
But I don’t need that survival strategy anymore.
I’m not driving anyone around but myself now.
Zalman is My Secret Weapon—And He’s Here on Substack
Zalman is a one-of-a-kind therapist.
I highly recommend checking out his work if you want to understand yourself on a level that most people never reach.
👉 Here’s his Substack
And if you take his advice?
Fair warning: bombs will go off in your life.
But trust me… it’s worth it.
Until next time,
Anton
Dancer, Writer, Buddhist
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