The Upside Down 2
Why The Strongest Attraction of Your Life May Be Pointing You in the Wrong Direction.
Dear Permission to be Powerful reader,
The strongest attraction of your life may be pointing in exactly the wrong direction.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had someone in my life...
...who made it worse.
I worked really hard to get those people out of my life.
The people who can’t take no for an answer.
Who always burdened me with their problems.
Who always took more than they gave.
Who do not care how I feel.
Do not care that they’ve hurt me.
Who always left me feeling worse.
Nobody gets to fuck with my calm.
But here’s the strange part.
Every once in a while...
I’ll meet someone...
...and I can still feel that pull.
But slow down.
Attraction isn’t a compass.
It’s not a map.
It’s not GPS.
It’s not fucking fate.
You tell yourself,
“I feel attracted...”
“...therefore this person must be good for me.”
And yet, nothing could be further from the truth.
It applies to almost everything.
The dream job.
You finally get it...
...and realize the money wasn’t worth your social life.
The business opportunity.
It ends up costing you far more than it can ever repay.
The new city.
You move...
...only to discover you brought yourself with you.
The promotion.
You finally earn it...
...and discover it’s STILL not good enough.
More.
More.
More.
This is the Hedonic Treadmill.
We can get used to anything.
No matter how absurd.
Bud Post won $16.2 million.
His ex sued him for half the jackpot.
He loaned money constantly...
And invested in bad business deals.
His own brother hired a hitman to kill him so he could get his hands on all of that money.
He went bankrupt.
“I wish I never won.”
-- Bud Post
Abraham Shakespeare won $30 million.
Winning made him a magnet for people asking for money.
One woman convinced him she wanted to help protect his wealth.
She gained his trust...
Took control of his finances...
Then she murdered him when he started asking questions.
You finally achieve your dream...
...only to realize you climbed the wrong mountain.
Now you’re in some deep shit.
“They must be special.”
“They must be perfect.”
“Maybe they’re my soulmate.”
No.
You can be attracted to someone you must avoid like the plague.
We're terrible at recognizing what's good for us.
Maybe they manufacture problems.
Drain your energy.
Make life worse.
For some...
It never stops.
Maybe they never listen.
Maybe you’re vulnerable and they invalidate you.
I’ve lived it.
More than once.
Still, to this day, I find myself deeply attracted to people who do not add anything good to my life.
There’s no profit for me here.
I can see this pattern in real time.
I’d much rather see it happening...
...than see it in hindsight.
I’m so committed to avoiding such people that my body won’t allow me to open up to someone like this.
So I may desire them.
But I also, in my bones, refuse to go back to the old dysfunctional way of life.
The fight isn’t over.
Mike Tyson’s beating the Chauffeur outright.
But the Chauffeur still knows how to make Mike feel bitter about it.
These days I trust my gut.
Only took 30 years.
Every time I talked myself out of it...
...my life got worse.
Every.
Single.
Time.
So, I stopped fighting with reality.
Tony V.
Editor-in-Chief
Permission to be Powerful
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