What Is the Inner Child, Where Is It Located, and How Do I Talk to It?
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If you’ve ever overreacted, felt abandoned too quickly, or found yourself frozen, ashamed, or desperate for connection… chances are, you weren’t hearing your adult self.
You were hearing your Inner Child.
In this video, I want to walk you through three questions I hear all the time:
What is the Inner Child?
Where is it located?
And how do I actually talk to it?
If you stick with me to the end, you’ll walk away with clarity — and your first steps toward real healing.
🔍 So… What Is the Inner Child?
Let’s start simple:
Your adult self — the “you” watching this — isn’t the only one driving the car.
Inside you lives a younger part. A child part.
We call it the Inner Child because it holds the emotional experience of your earliest years:
Your unmet needs
Your fears
Your longings
Your joys
Your protective defenses
It’s not a metaphor. It’s a real emotional part of you — a neural and energetic blueprint that formed when you were small and vulnerable. It still shows up today… usually during conflict, emotional overwhelm, or moments of fear and rejection.
So when you freeze up in an argument…
Or spiral because someone didn’t text back…
Or feel a deep panic that seems bigger than the moment…
That’s your Inner Child talking.
🧭 Where Is the Inner Child Located?
Short answer? Inside your nervous system.
It lives in your limbic brain, your body, your emotional memory, and often… in silence.
This part of you was formed when you were too young to speak or reason. So it doesn’t communicate in thoughts or logic. It speaks in sensation and feeling:
Tight chest
Sudden shame
Tears out of nowhere
Feeling “too much” or “not enough”
Panic without reason
It lives in your reactions — not your stories.
That’s why trying to “think your way out” of triggers rarely works.
You’re not speaking the same language.
💬 How Do I Talk to My Inner Child?
This part’s big — and powerful.
To talk to your Inner Child, you must become the adult you needed back then.
That means:
Slowing down when you feel triggered
Asking yourself: “What age does this reaction feel like?”
Listening with compassion, not judgment
Naming the feelings (use a feelings chart!)
Saying things like:
✅ “I hear you.”
✅ “It’s okay to feel that.”
✅ “You’re not alone now. I’m here with you.”
✅ “You’re safe.”
That’s how you start the conversation.
Not with big lectures.
Not with self-help mantras.
But with presence, honesty, and softness.
You become the parent to the part of you that didn’t get the parenting it needed.
And slowly… it begins to trust you.
🌀 Why This Matters
If you don’t know your Inner Child, it’ll run your life without your permission.
Most adults? They’re still children in grown-up bodies.
Chasing approval. Reacting to rejection. Fearing abandonment.
Making decisions from a place of pain instead of power.
But when you learn to hear this part of yourself…
When you reparent with patience and clarity…
Everything changes:
Triggers become teachers
Emotional spirals become maps
Relationships get clearer — because you no longer abandon yourself to keep others close
This is the beginning of inner safety.
And safety, not self-control, is what heals.
🎁 Want to Go Deeper?
If this resonated, I’d love to invite you into the VIP section of Permission to Be Powerful. Inside, we go further into this work — not just understanding the Inner Child, but building a real, day-by-day relationship with it.
Here’s what’s inside:
🧬 The Trigger Method Workbook – My complete guide to healing emotional reactions through Inner Child work.
🧘 The Daily Practice – Grounding tools for staying calm and connected, even when the past gets loud.
🧠 The ADHD X Factor – Why your brain reacts the way it does — and how to stop blaming yourself for it.
🔥 HELL & PARADISE – Anton’s raw memoir about self-worth, exile, and finding power in the dark.
🛠️ The AI Prompt Bible + Monster Method – Business, productivity, and healing prompts that work with your brain, not against it.
And more. Much more.
This isn’t just bonus content.
It’s a safe space for the real work.
👉 Join VIP here – Try it free for 30 days.
No pressure. Just permission.
🕊 Final Thought
Your Inner Child doesn’t need you to be perfect.
Just present.
When you begin to show up…
Everything starts to heal.
You’re not broken.
You’re becoming whole.
Talk soon,
—Zalman, LCSW
Test-ride Your Permission to be Powerful VIP Membership FREE for 30 Days.
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