✍️ Editor’s Note:
Zalman is giving away his incredible book, The Trigger Method Workbook, for FREE. This will show you a significant therapy shortcut to healing your wounds and developing a healthier relationship with yourself. Check it out here.
Dear Permission to be Powerful Reader,
Sometimes in a session, a client is so hard on themselves—so relentlessly self-critical, so trained over the years to see only their flaws—that I feel the need to protect them… from themselves.
What they’re saying may sound like adult language. But underneath? I hear a child’s voice. A scared, confused Inner Child still repeating what they were told long ago. That they’re not good enough. That they don’t matter. That they’re a burden.
Seeing the Inner Child
I watch as they speak to themselves with the same harsh tone they once received from a parent, a teacher, a sibling. And I see how that voice got internalized—how it became “truth.”
It’s familiar. That’s why they trust it.
But that doesn’t mean it’s accurate.
It just means it’s old.
I’m most encouraged when something shifts—when a client begins to feel protective of their own Inner Child. When they stop attacking themselves for struggling and start offering care, understanding, and compassion. It often begins with a pause. A moment. A question like: “What if I spoke to myself like someone I cared about?”
That’s where healing begins.
You Have Two Selves: Inner Child and Adult Self
You are not just your present-day self. You’re also carrying your 7-year-old self inside you.
Your Inner Child is emotional, reactive, and driven by old fears and unmet needs.
Your Adult Self sees the truth—what’s actually happening, what you’ve actually accomplished, and who you’ve actually become.
But without conscious work, the Inner Child’s voice will dominate. That voice tends to speak the loudest during moments of stress, shame, or conflict.
That’s why we begin the work by building a relationship between these two parts. You start naming which part is speaking. You begin responding to the Inner Child—not from judgment—but from your Adult Self’s grounded presence.
Healing Isn’t a Concept. It’s a Relationship.
When you’re triggered, that’s not failure. It’s a flare.
A signal from your Inner Child saying:
“I’m scared.”
“I feel left behind.”
“I need help.”
The Adult Self doesn’t ignore that. He doesn’t minimize it. He listens. He validates. He gently, consistently brings in a new truth:
“You are not who they said you were.”
“You are not alone anymore.”
“You’re doing better than you think.”
This is the heart of inner child work: recognizing that emotions aren’t the enemy—they’re a door. And on the other side is a little boy or girl who just wants to feel safe, connected, and seen.
If this resonates, I want to invite you deeper.
At Permission to Be Powerful, we’re building a space where this kind of emotional work gets the structure and support it deserves.
The VIP tier is where we do the deep work together—bridging emotional reactivity with adult awareness, learning to work with your triggers, and gently transforming the way you relate to yourself.
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The Trigger Workbook – A full system for using emotions as a healing map
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Unreleased Coaching Sessions – Emotional insights pulled from real client breakthroughs
And exclusive early access to new trainings, tools, and templates
This isn’t mindset fluff. It’s real-world emotional rewiring—grounded in clinical insight, attachment repair, and compassionate accountability.
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No pressure. No hard sell. Just the real work, waiting for you.
👉 [Click here to enter the VIP area]
Your Inner Child may not trust it yet.
But your Adult Self knows… it’s time.
With care,
— Zalman, LCSW
Test-ride Your Permission to be Powerful VIP Membership FREE for 30 Days.
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