How to Become More "You" Than You've Ever Been in Your Life.

For years, I lost myself.

I looked in the mirror and didn’t even recognize the person staring back. At my worst, people started saying I actually looked related to my wife. Our hairstyles were similar. I gained a bunch of weight, which made me resemble her even more. I had absorbed my environment like a sponge—until I had no identity.

I became a hollowed-out version of myself.

And that kind of self-abandonment? It almost killed me.

Most people will die never knowing who they really are.

They spend their whole lives living according to someone else’s script. They play the role of the “good son,” the “good employee,” the “nice guy,” the “obedient wife.” They follow the invisible rules. Do what they’re told. Contort themselves into whatever shape the world demands.

And then one day, they wake up and wonder why they’re miserable.

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I come from the school of thought that we all decide to be born.

It’s not a belief I can prove.

But it’s the belief that has left me feeling the most empowered.

And that’s saying a lot—coming from a guy who used to feel so helpless. So broken. So victimized.

If I chose to be born to my mother and father in particular…

There stands to reason that I did so with something in mind.

Something about them made my infinite spirit say—them.

This belief helped me come to terms with the father I had.

Because let’s be real—if I had a say in choosing my father, most people would say I made a terrible fucking choice.

This man was violent. Abusive.

He spent my WHOOOOOOOLE life treating me like dirt.

And yet…

If I believe I chose this life, then that means there must have been a reason

WHY.

Why the fuck would I willingly choose that?

WHY?

I told my therapist about this point of view, and he endorsed it.

He said this was me letting go of my old victim identity—the Chauffeur. Stepping into my true self—Mike Tyson.

The way I look at it… we all came here for a reason.

But the moment we’re born, we forget who we really are.

Life is about rediscovering that self.

The more you align with your true self, the more powerful you become. The more out of alignment you are, the weaker and more broken you become.

Some people experience the kind of alignment that gives them a harmonious, effortless life.

Others?

They manufacture misery and chaos wherever they go.

It’s a fundamental part of who they are—or at least, who they’ve been living as their whole lives.

I’m thinking of the movie Uncut Gems with Adam Sandler.

One of his best performances ever.

He plays a crooked jewelry broker. Always scheming, always gambling, always running from someone he owes money to.

Living in a whirlwind of chaos.

And the crazy thing is—he’s relatively at ease in all this madness.

Most of us wouldn’t last a day in his shoes, but for him? That chaos is home.

Some people are like this. They always manifest negativity.

I avoid people like this at all costs.

But there was a time when my life was full of them.

I felt trapped. At their mercy.

And here’s the thing—when you surround yourself with people like this?

It doesn’t matter how strong you are.

You’re going to be miserable.

This is where that saying comes in— you are the average of your five closest friends.

If someone is cursed with a dark storm cloud that follows them wherever they go…

You probably don’t want to be standing next to them when the lightning strikes.

Likewise, there are certain types of people you want to avoid altogether.

There’s the perpetual victim—who always has an excuse, always has someone else to blame, and never takes responsibility for their own life.

There’s the energy vampire—who drains you dry every time you interact with them, leaving you exhausted, annoyed, or pissed off.

And then there’s the most dangerous kind…

The predator—the kind of person who leaves a trail of victims wherever they go.

Once you understand how to spot the underlying pattern of someone’s life, you can figure them out better than they know themselves.

Because past behavior is the #1 predictor of future behavior.

If you want to become more YOU than you’ve ever been…

That might mean taking a hard look at your environment.

Because if you feel like you’re constantly at war with yourself…

If you feel like every day is an uphill battle…

That could mean you’re in the wrong place.

With the wrong people.

And that means you’re living a hard life that doesn’t have to be hard.

I’m a sensitive guy. Emotional.

And for most of my life, I saw that as a weakness.

I thought I had to “toughen up.” Become more like the aggressive, abrasive, cruel people around me.

I thought the answer was to get better at taking the hits.

But the truth is—I just wasn’t in the right environment.

I didn’t need to change who I was.

I needed to find people who resonated with me on a spiritual level.

And when I did?

Everything changed.

I have become so aligned lately that the people I’m spending my time with…

I’m resonating at a level that I didn’t think was even possible.

Neither did they.

But that’s what happens when you stop fighting your true self.

When you stop lying to yourself.

And when you start living in alignment.

Now, I’ll be real with you—most people will never experience this.

Most people will die without ever knowing what true alignment feels like.

And if that pisses you off, if that stirs something deep inside you…

Good.

Because it means there’s still time.

The question is—will you actually do something about it?

Or will you keep playing the role the world gave you?

Will you keep following a script you never wrote?

Will you keep dying slowly in a life that was never yours to begin with?

Because breaking free?

That takes guts.

It means burning the script you’ve been following your whole life.

It means risking rejection.

It means stepping into the unknown.

And the universe will test you.

Over and over again.

It will tempt you to stay small. Stay safe. Stay comfortable.

That’s always going to feel like the easier choice.

And that’s why most people choose to stay trapped.

But some of us?

We see the prison walls.

We smell the fresh air just beyond them.

And we know—we were never meant to live like this.

So I’ll leave you with one final question.

Are you ready to break free?

Or will you let the world silence you?

You’ve carried enough.
The guilt. The pressure. The need to earn your worth.

Self-Love University isn’t about fixing you.
It’s about helping you remember—
you were never broken.

If you’re tired of abandoning yourself to belong…
this is where you begin again.

Until next time,

Anton

Dancer, Writer, Buddhist.