John Pulleyn | December 13, 2023 | 47 minutes
Introduction
Today is the second day of the December 2023 2-day sesshin.
We continue studying Stillness Speaks by Eckhart Tolle.
Yesterday we explored:
Silence and Stillness
Beyond the Thinking Mind
Today, we move into the challenging topic of the Egoic Self.
On Ego
The word "ego" often carries harsh judgment, especially in spiritual circles.
But it's important to recognize:
We need a sense of self to live and navigate our lives.
The small self (ego) isn't "bad"—it’s simply incomplete.
However, suffering arises when we confuse this small self for our true nature.
Caution:
Rigidly applying spiritual teachings without deep understanding can cause suffering, especially in family life.
True insight requires patience, compassion, and self-forgiveness.
The Mind's Endless Seeking
The mind constantly seeks:
Food for thought
Food for identity
It recreates the ego by:
Thinking and speaking about “me and my story”
Seeking fulfillment in the future
Survival instincts (like fear, adrenaline) are deeply wired into us.
But the "I" we usually refer to is just a fleeting, mind-made structure.
Who is aware of this mind-made "I"?
The deeper I Am—the timeless awareness.
Awakening from Ego
When thought completely absorbs your attention, you become the voice in your head.
This is ego: a mental construct rooted in fear and wanting.
But when you notice the voice:
You realize you are not the voice.
You are the one aware of it.
This is the beginning of freedom.
In practice:
Sometimes the mind is chaotic (especially in sesshin).
As we stay, sit, and let awareness surface, stillness gradually arises.
Ego’s Addiction to the Future
The ego is always seeking:
More recognition
More achievement
More completeness
Thus, it compulsively focuses on the future.
Every time you become aware that you're “living for the next moment,"
you step out of the egoic pattern.
Giving full attention to this moment brings intelligence greater than the mind.
True doing becomes:
More effective
More fulfilling
More joyful
Victim Identity
Almost every ego contains a victim identity.
Even if grievances are justified,
holding onto them creates a prison of thought forms.
Freedom comes not by renouncing your story, but by seeing through it.
Awareness—not suppression—is the healing force.
Note:
Survivors of trauma often need therapeutic support alongside meditation.
Simply "noticing" is powerful but not always enough for deep wounds.
Complaining and Reactivity
Complaining and reacting:
Strengthen ego.
Create an illusion of superiority.
When you complain internally or externally,
you feed the illusion of a separate self.
Practice:
Can you catch the complaining voice?
Can you recognize it without identifying with it?
Pain-Body (From The Power of Now)
Tolle describes the Pain-Body:
an energy field of accumulated emotional pain.
It:
Feeds on negativity
Provokes drama
Sustains itself through suffering
Freedom comes by simply witnessing it.
Not fighting—just noticing.
Relationships
Relationships are fertile ground for awakening—or for reinforcing ego.
Ego in relationships:
Seeks validation or fears diminishment.
Projects identities onto others.
Judging others traps both them and yourself.
True connection arises through presence, not through mental concepts.
In Practice:
Give full attention to whoever you are with.
Drop past and future stories about them.
Allow stillness into your interactions.
When attention arises,
the separation between “self” and “other” dissolves.
Nature
Nature points the way home.
In nature:
Trees are trees.
Animals are simply themselves.
They do not live through mental images or seek validation.
By quietly attending to nature:
We step out of conceptual thinking.
We reconnect with being.
We are not separate from nature—we are life itself.
The Now
Life is always Now.
The past is remembered now.
The future arrives only now.
When you treat the present moment as an obstacle,
you create suffering.
When you embrace the Now:
Tension dissolves.
Spaciousness arises.
Life feels sacred again.
Practical Reminder:
You are not your thoughts, emotions, or experiences.
You are the space in which all things happen.
Closing Reflection
Human interaction can be hell—or a great spiritual practice.
Attention, stillness, forgiveness, and compassion transform how we meet life—and each other.
Ultimately,
there is no "other."
You are always meeting yourself.
Quick Takeaways
The ego is not evil—but it is incomplete.
Awareness, not suppression, brings transformation.
Presence heals suffering faster than control or renunciation.
Nature reminds us of our original wholeness.
Joy naturally arises when we live in the Now.
