Wow, this is so beautiful, powerful and so relevant. A similar thing has happened with me, where I always say "it's not me, it's them", it's always the other person who hurt my feelings, disappointed me etc. The one day my counselor pointed out to me: "But you said that about yourself", this is the third time that I have hear you make that statement about yourself. And I was gobsmacked, I just sat there with myself, like Self...what the hell are we doing?? Patterns, it's so powerful when we are able to recognize them and deal with the roots to fix it. Thank you for sharing.
Wow, thank you for this excellent read that resonated so much as with others..I found myself really following along, reading, absorbing, reading, absorbing and just almost thinking in part that it was my story being talked about. Distancing yourself from the person in your life who has this behavior can be stressful especially if they were ‘meant’ to be a loving figure in your life but overall necessary for wellbeing and happiness and true love to come in of any kind. This has been my big realization ♥️
Thank you for this! Like you, it took a long time to accept the reality of some people and my relationship with them. We’re encouraged at every turn to continue to allow people to dictate how we think, specifically how we think of ourselves; accepting and unlearning such behaviors is easier said than done, but so worth the effort!
I have had these experiences with my mother and could’ve written this myself.
I’m so grateful for your growth… And mine.
Once the pattern is seen, it’s so much easier to break away but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy to do so, especially from such an important relationship in life.
For decades, I believed what she said and thought it was me. Like you, I then put myself through a process of self examination so that I could fix whatever might be broken.
It took me a long time to forage through the wreckage, and I gleaned as much self knowledge wisdom from those experiences that I could.
But then I got to the point where I realized that I was simply being gaslit. Once I saw it clearly, I knew the rest was to be laid at the foot of the other, and the burden was no longer mine to carry.
I’m so grateful to have come so far and I have no bitterness, simply gratitude.
Thank you so much for sharing. I share your joy. This used to be my whole life. I was in spiritual bondage. This person found a way to take over my life, reduce me down to their servant, and be nasty and bitter constantly. YUCK.
And look at your mighty fine self now. You wouldn't have grown and wizened into what you are now without that rub. Keep rocking your fine self, brother!
Wow, this is so beautiful, powerful and so relevant. A similar thing has happened with me, where I always say "it's not me, it's them", it's always the other person who hurt my feelings, disappointed me etc. The one day my counselor pointed out to me: "But you said that about yourself", this is the third time that I have hear you make that statement about yourself. And I was gobsmacked, I just sat there with myself, like Self...what the hell are we doing?? Patterns, it's so powerful when we are able to recognize them and deal with the roots to fix it. Thank you for sharing.
Patterns a much stronger than we might think
Yes, and more habitual and just become a part of us, but the most important is to aware and do the hard work!
thank YOU for sharing
My Brother! I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!
But, since this is public forum, I won't say much more.
Regards,
Anthony
Wow, thank you for this excellent read that resonated so much as with others..I found myself really following along, reading, absorbing, reading, absorbing and just almost thinking in part that it was my story being talked about. Distancing yourself from the person in your life who has this behavior can be stressful especially if they were ‘meant’ to be a loving figure in your life but overall necessary for wellbeing and happiness and true love to come in of any kind. This has been my big realization ♥️
likewise thank yo for sharing
Thank you for this! Like you, it took a long time to accept the reality of some people and my relationship with them. We’re encouraged at every turn to continue to allow people to dictate how we think, specifically how we think of ourselves; accepting and unlearning such behaviors is easier said than done, but so worth the effort!
How was I so blind? I really struggle to wrap my mind around it. People are out here casually living in bondage.
You don’t know what you don’t know, and our culture elevates such self-confidence and the people who exhibit it. We’re conditioned to acquiesce.
I have had these experiences with my mother and could’ve written this myself.
I’m so grateful for your growth… And mine.
Once the pattern is seen, it’s so much easier to break away but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy to do so, especially from such an important relationship in life.
For decades, I believed what she said and thought it was me. Like you, I then put myself through a process of self examination so that I could fix whatever might be broken.
It took me a long time to forage through the wreckage, and I gleaned as much self knowledge wisdom from those experiences that I could.
But then I got to the point where I realized that I was simply being gaslit. Once I saw it clearly, I knew the rest was to be laid at the foot of the other, and the burden was no longer mine to carry.
I’m so grateful to have come so far and I have no bitterness, simply gratitude.
Be well .
Thank you so much for sharing. I share your joy. This used to be my whole life. I was in spiritual bondage. This person found a way to take over my life, reduce me down to their servant, and be nasty and bitter constantly. YUCK.
And look at your mighty fine self now. You wouldn't have grown and wizened into what you are now without that rub. Keep rocking your fine self, brother!
I fell for that trap more than a few times.