There’s a dimension to human connection that most people never think about.
It’s the question of being seen.
We’re all flesh and blood.
We all eat, sleep, and grow old.
It’s easy to assume we’re all the same because of that.
But there’s one way we’re wildly different:
It’s how much of ourselves we’re willing to show the world.
How authentic we are.
And I’ll tell you this—
When you lean into authenticity, life improves.
You stop attracting surface-level people and shallow situations.
You start pulling in genuine connections, meaningful work, and deeper relationships.
Whether people love you or hate you, at least it’s for who you are.
Authenticity is magnetic.
It’s the foundation of charisma.
And some people are so unapologetically themselves that they create movements—entire cults of personality—just by being who they are.
Take Carlos Santana
Last summer, I saw him live. And let me tell you—watching that man play guitar was like hearing God talk.
Every riff felt like decades of wisdom pouring out of his soul.
His wife, 25 years younger, was pounding away on the drums behind him.
My friend mentioned she’d first seen him perform over 20 years ago, and he still had it.
It wasn’t just the music.
Santana radiated something—this sense of peace, gratitude, and authority.
Hows he carried himself is evident in how people treated him like the Man everywhere he went.
And it hit me.
That’s what happens when you lean into who you are.
Santana lives a life of abundance—money, love, and adoration—just for being himself.
And it made me wonder…
Why not me?
Why not you?
Why do so many of us hold back?
Why do we hide the parts of ourselves that make us shine?
We’ve already talked about one reason—fear.
Fear of what people will think
But here’s the truth—most people don’t realize this. It’s not their thoughts that hurt. It’s yours.
When someone doesn’t like you, it stings because it confirms what you already believe about yourself. That’s the real punch in the gut.
And the good news?
That’s something you can change.
You’ll never control what other people think. Never. Even if you could read minds, good luck keeping up with how thoughts flip and shift every second.
But you can control what you believe about yourself.
If you genuinely like yourself and know you’re worthy, stop caring about what others think.
Because their approval doesn’t feel like survival anymore.
This is hard to see at first.
It’s like trying to notice the air you’re breathing—it’s so ingrained that it feels invisible.
But the truth is…
How you feel about yourself shapes everything.
Do you believe you’re enough as you are?
Do you believe you count?
Do you believe you matter?
For the longest time, I didn’t.
I spent years hiding.
I was terrified people wouldn’t value what I had to say.
And because I believed that, I sabotaged myself before anyone else got the chance.
I’d start projects and never finish them.
I’d let distractions pull me away.
Or I’d convince myself that I wasn’t ready—wasn’t good enough—to put my work out there.
The truth?
I was scared.
Scared of failing.
Scared of succeeding and not knowing what to do next.
Scared of being seen.
But something shifted.
I stopped caring about perfection when I finally started believing in my worth.
I just started doing it.
Writing. Publishing. Speaking and putting myself out there.
And what I realized is that the world doesn’t need you to be flawless.
It needs you to be real.
It wasn’t always like this for me.
For most of my life, I stayed small
I thought I was playing it safe. But the truth? I was scared of taking up space.
I let fear keep me invisible.
I let self-doubt convince me that my voice didn’t matter. And because I didn’t value myself, I surrounded myself with people who confirmed that belief.
I see it so clearly now.
Like how I let my ex’s needs always come first. I didn’t even question it.
When my opinions got dismissed, I didn’t push back.
When we moved to a city I didn’t want to live in, I convinced myself that’s just how life worked.
But it wasn’t life.
It was me.
I wasn’t standing up for myself because I didn’t believe I was worth standing up for.
And this problem—this belief that you don’t count—is everywhere.
Two summers ago, I saw it happen right in front of me.
I was in Italy with my family.
My aunt turned to the youngest girl in the room—a six-year-old—and said…
“You don’t count.”
Just like that.
It was like someone flipped a switch in my head.
A flood of memories rushed in—all the times I’d been made to feel invisible, like what I wanted or needed didn’t matter.
And I thought, No wonder so many people grow up to play small.
When you hear messages like that—spoken or unspoken—it sticks.
It becomes a script that plays in your head for years, maybe forever.
You don’t count.
You don’t matter.
Your voice isn’t valid.
And you start acting like it’s true.
You shrink in conversations.
You avoid taking risks.
You let people interrupt you, talk over you, and dismiss your ideas.
Not because they’re right.
But Because, Deep Down, You Believe It Too
I see it all the time.
I once watched four young men sit in a room with President Obama.
He asked them for their thoughts, and each guy gave their take—except one.
One guy shrank back, waved it off, and said, “Don’t worry about me.”
And Obama stopped him.
He said, “Now hold on now, son. You count. You matter.”
I’ll never forget that.
Imagine being told by the President of the United States that you count. That you matter.
But here’s the thing—
What if you didn’t need anyone else to tell you that?
What if you could believe it for yourself?
That’s the actual work.
Most people can’t see their own value
They have the grass-is-greener syndrome.
They assume everyone else has it figured out.
Everyone else is more intelligent, more talented, more worthy.
But the truth?
The people who win—those who rise to the top—are often the ones who believe they belong there.
That’s why authenticity is so magnetic.
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about ultimately owning your imperfections so others can’t look away.
I saw this shift firsthand when I started writing copy for Tony Robbins.
That was a massive moment in my career.
But even then, impostor syndrome kicked in. I kept thinking, Who am I to be here?
I had to remind myself—none of these people would’ve lasted a single day in St. Lucia.
That’s the thought I clung to when I felt out of place. It’s what got me through.
And the crazy thing?
Believing in yourself doesn’t just change how you feel—it changes how people see you.
People mirror the energy you put out.
If you carry yourself like someone who counts, people will treat you like you count.
If you walk into a room like you belong there, people will assume you do.
Because the truth is… nobody’s checking your resume.
They’re reading your energy.
And when you start showing up as the real you?
Everything shifts.
Until next time,
Anton
Dancer, Writer, Buddhist
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