John Pulleyn — November 8, 2023
This is the sixth day of the November 2023 sesshin.
We continue reading Everyday Zen: Love and Work by Charlotte Joko Beck.
Picking Up from Yesterday
Yesterday, Joko described her intense three-month piano training at Oberlin.
She learned the most basic — and hardest — skill: to really hear.
In Zen practice, this is Samadhi — total absorption.
But unlike music or sports, Zen asks us to bring that deep attention to all moments, not just the pleasant ones.
Attention in Art vs. Attention in Life
Artistic or athletic oneness is real.
But when fame or success fades, many artists and athletes collapse because:
Their Samadhi was attached to external circumstances, not internal presence.
Zen asks for attention when:
It's boring
It's painful
It's unpleasant
And that's much harder—and more transformative.
Why We Avoid the Present
We've all been hurt.
We filter the present through past pain and future fears.
Even when life is good, we worry it will turn bad.
Instead of meeting the moment, we spin in:
Memories
Fears
Fantasies
Avoidance
Joko shares:
"I used to leave bad-looking letters unopened for days."
The Spinning Mind
Life becomes endless spinning:
Trying to make things safe, pleasant, controllable.
But spinning means we miss what’s actually happening.
Zen practice is about choosing—again and again:
Spin off into thought?
Or stay with the present?
Every moment is a fork in the road.
Pain, Fatigue, and Boredom Are Valuable
In sesshin:
You feel fatigue.
You feel pain in your legs.
You feel boredom.
Good.
Because those things force us to stay put.
No escape through thinking or fantasizing.
True Comfort Comes From Groundedness
Mature Zen students aren't spun around by life.
They still experience loss, pain, and death—but without collapse.
Joko shares two examples:
An uncle who died of lung cancer saying, "I've had a good life."
A friend who, even after medical betrayal, said, "I've been dealt a wonderful hand."
Groundedness makes life’s storms hit lighter.
Practicing Presence in Sitting
Joko’s method:
"When drifting, I listen to the traffic. I listen to every sound — nothing missed."
Traffic becomes a koan — a direct gateway back to now.
Real Practice Is Hard
It takes courage to stop escaping into fantasy.
First, we practice for ourselves.
But eventually, our groundedness naturally influences others.
We change the world not by preaching, but by being different.
"The Buddha is nothing but what you are right now:
Hearing cars. Feeling leg pain. Hearing my voice."
Being Honest with Emotions
Real anger:
Fully felt, knot in the stomach.
Not acted out through sarcasm, judgment, manipulation.
Suppressed anger is more dangerous than expressed anger.
If we can:
Feel anger honestly,
Speak from experience ("I'm angry now"),
Not spin into reaction—
then even anger becomes a path to awakening.
Anthony de Mello's Story:
"I'm an Ass, You're an Ass"
If people praise your shirt, you feel good.
If they criticize you, you feel bad.
We’re controlled like puppets.
De Mello’s wisdom:
"Don't live for praise. Don't live for blame.
Just observe yourself.
You're not OK. You're not not-OK. You're just you."
True freedom is not needing validation.
Letting Go of Hope
Joko once said:
"To do this practice, we must give up hope."
Not effort — hope.
Hope for:
A perfect life
A problem-free future
A painless enlightenment
Life is the way it is.
Real practice is choosing reality over fantasy, again and again.
The Path Is Long
Glimpses of clarity come—maybe after a year, maybe after ten.
A glimpse takes a tenth of a second.
Full awakening takes a lifetime (or more).
Every step is perfect as it is.
Zen is a long, long continuum of:
Letting go
Returning to now
Sinking into what is real
Contribution to the World
You don’t have to be famous to change the world:
A smile
A kind word
Honest presence
Even a toll booth worker's joy can lift hundreds of people a day.
Final Words
We are already Buddhas.
We simply haven’t realized it yet.
Practice transforms us,
Not by forcing anything,
But by patient willingness
to keep choosing
this moment.
Joko’s encouragement:
"Be patient. Be willing. Respect yourself for doing this practice.
It's not easy. But the possibility of real transformation is there."
Time is up.
We close by reciting the Four Vows.
Quick Takeaways
(Heath & Heath, 2007 style)
🎯 Attention is the heart of Zen.
🎯 Pain, fatigue, and discomfort are training grounds.
🎯 Real practice means dropping hope for a perfect life.
🎯 Freedom means not living for praise or fear of blame.
🎯 Transformation is slow, but steady — a lifelong journey.
